The latest XKCD quote database entries

Quote #8831

Sun, 20 May 2012 23:05:03 -0500

cognate is from the latin cognatus for 'blood relative'
it has nothing to do with the latin word for blood, though.
(sanguis or something like that)
sangres is the spanish word for blood
and sangria is the spanish word for hangover.
there's a bloody mary joke here somewhere
natabbotts: yeah; somewhere in the Latin Quarter.

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Quote #8830

Sun, 20 May 2012 23:05:03 -0500

| tomatoserver > NASA is one thing american does right, along with coca-cola and the internet
| tomatoserver > america*
| tomatoserver > apparantly they don't do so well with spelling
| tomatoserver > or grammar, as that should be "we"

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Quote #8829

Fri, 18 May 2012 05:05:07 -0500

<@benley> doctor must-haves, partial list:
<@benley> - doctoral degree in medicine
<@benley> - license to practice
<@benley> - speaks enough english not to enrage you or accidentally kill you
<@benley> - furry tail
<@benley> - adorable pointy ears
<@benley> - purrs
<@benley> - bolivia
<@benley> wait, what am I describing again?

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Quote #8828

Thu, 17 May 2012 02:05:03 -0500

syntax: Where ya working?
Z3r0: Local hardware store, Harbor Freight Tools. It's one of my favorite places for DIY equipment.
syntax: FUCKING LOVE HOARBOR FREIGHT
SUCH CHEAP SHIT BUT IT DOES EXACTLY WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO
THEN BREAKS
THEN YOU BUY A NEW ONE!
:D
* snark puts in some earplugs
wth is up with the allcaps
You appear to have a broken capslock key. Please attach a weight to your shift key.
That's 5 years of pent up stage hand "FUCK SOMETHING BROKE" energy
he's really loud I guess
It's an aol thing
Z3r0: I'm honored! XD
Either that, or a C64 emulator
Harbor freight saved my ass in alot of shows man
* billygoat has kicked Z3r0 from #xkcd (I can allot you a lot of alots.)
They won't be doing that again any time soon.
I like the idea that billygoat just gradually got pissed at him until a smaller infraction made him snap
* Z3r0 (Z3r0@hide-1396EEF2.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #xkcd
snark: That's what I thought it was at first when I saw that he got goated.
Well that was rather delayed...

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Quote #8826

Wed, 16 May 2012 01:05:03 -0500

<@relsqui> also, my favorite scientific name is the western lowland gorilla
< wsa> relsqui: it isn't gorilla gorilla, is it?
<@relsqui> wsa: no, it's Gorilla gorilla gorilla
<@relsqui> wsa: the extra gorilla is for ... gorilla

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Quote #8823

Tue, 15 May 2012 23:05:03 -0500

<@snark> okay, so. I didn't know going in who wrote this. My experience of the movie was: "Waaaait. I think I know who wrote this." "Okay, I definitely know who wrote this." "Wait. Wait wait wait. That shot. That shot right there. He directed it too?"
<@snark> Credits roll. "Directed by Joss Whedon"

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Quote #8822

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:05:07 -0500

he still haven't gotten back at me since I made his fb profile picture a woman clad in a bikini made of bacon
oh, and he's a muslim.

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Quote #8821

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:05:07 -0500

Lorax: i don't know all the technical math phrasing and strange symbols, it's all latin to me

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Quote #8820

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:05:07 -0500

<+Palomides> bets on how long it will be before a paralyzed person with robot legs can beat normal runners?
<+goodger> fifteen years
<+Nerf> By normal do you mean an average runner, or world class?
<+Palomides> Nerf: due to the speed of technology, I suspect the two will not be very far apart
<+Troll-man> based on the pace of development of such legs... more than 15 years
<+wtfTACOCATftw> It's just a matter of goals. If someone cared about top speed over everyday ability, I'd give it 6 months tops.
<+Hijackal> Give me nine women, I need a baby next month!

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Quote #8819

Fri, 11 May 2012 23:05:03 -0500

<@relsqui> and now gmusic is skipping. fuck you bluetooooth
<@sheepbat> bluetoo.. ..ooth?
<@IceKarma> sheepbat, http://firepacket.net/pictures/Other/Real-Networks-Buffering.jpg
<@relsqui> ahahaha
<@sheepbat> ahaha
<%Rosemary> :P
<@res0> baha
<@relsqui> IceKarma completely shuts down #hops, news at 11 :P
<@IceKarma> =^.^=
<@res0> relsqui: wait, does the news air at 11 on the west coast?
<@relsqui> fuck if I know, I haven't watched TV news since like 1995

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Quote #8818

Fri, 11 May 2012 23:05:03 -0500

* lagweezle puts Nav's bits in Bucket.
* Bucket is now carrying Nav's bits, but dropped a topological exercise.

Quote #8817

Fri, 11 May 2012 18:05:04 -0500

<&aliaras> I picked up a cheap scale at a garage sale
<&aliaras> which required me to verify that it worked, so I asked the sellers for a liter of water :)
<&aliaras> Dear metric system: <3

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Quote #8816

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:05:06 -0500

<~relsqui> :D so my student who got her citizenship yesterday brought in the certificate so my boss could photocopy it and put it in one of our flier holders
<@benley> what does that look like?
<@Shrdlu> it says "WELCOME ABOARD THE CITIZEN SHIP!!!!" in comic sans
<@Shrdlu> and there's clipart of a ship with american-flag sails labeled "U.S.S. AMERICA"
<@benley> and the bottom has a little ad for the pro version of The Print Shop Plus Online

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Quote #8814

Thu, 10 May 2012 04:05:03 -0500

What would be your opinion on going to the school ball?
People still call things "balls"?
I mean, other than balls

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Quote #8813

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:05:05 -0500

< Buckley> Communism broke down in that scenario
< Nav> Bucket: I keep mistaking Bucket for you
< Bucket> UNCAUGHT EXCEPTION: TERMINATING
< scgtrp> Nav: good job
< scgtrp> Buckley: Nav quotes

Quote #8812

Mon, 07 May 2012 00:05:05 -0500

<@Stereo> ugh. i'm usually pretty nonchalant about insects, but a daddy longlegs just got the drop on me when i was vulnerable - naked without my glasses (in the shower)
<@Stereo> i'm sure it was freakin' out, too... nice warm home and suddenly it's raining
<@snark> incy wincy spider climbed up the stereo
<@sheepbat> I suddenly remember that they turned that song into a TV show
<@Shrdlu> and then rebooted it as a gritty series of graphic novels
<@Shrdlu> not, like, grimly realistic
<@Shrdlu> just covered in grits
<@sheepbat> dammit now I want grits

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Quote #8811

Sat, 05 May 2012 20:05:03 -0500

<@creature> I have a mad crazy sweet tooth.
<@creature> You know that scene in Trainspotting when he's going through withdrawl, locked in a filthy room sweating and shivering and suffering terrifying hallucinations? That's what would happen to me if I tried to give up sugar.
<@sheepbat> ..I have never seen trainspotting
<@creature> Well, there's this scene where one of the characters is going through withdrawl, and he's locked in a filthy room sweating and shivering and suffering terrifying hallucinations.
<@sheepbat> ah ha

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Quote #8809

Fri, 04 May 2012 01:05:02 -0500

* fantasyprone broke a nail ;__;
< fantasyprone> this is why I don't usually let my fingernails get long
< fantasyprone> I end up stabbing myself in the face
<@snark> I probably would too if I were you

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Quote #8808

Tue, 01 May 2012 01:05:03 -0500

<@snark> minecraft squid look so resigned
<@snark> a look of derpy resignation
<@relsqui> is the name of my new memoir

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Quote #8807

Tue, 01 May 2012 01:05:03 -0500

-!- Chair has quit
* nessie falls onto floor

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Quote #8806

Tue, 01 May 2012 01:05:03 -0500

<@Frowardd> getting ready to interrogate this suspect
<@Frowardd> my partner offers him coffee, I threaten to drink his blood
<@Frowardd> (good cop/vlad cop)

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Quote #8805

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 14:04:14 -0500

<@Stereo> i find a lot of speech tips assume you're good at writing speeches, and just need to be reminded that it is actually a speech you are preparing
<@Stereo> and not, i dunno, a carburetor manual

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Quote #8804

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 03:04:09 -0500

23:46 * Oriza is about to brave Dead Space, wish her luck

00:00 oh jesus that was the worst idea i've had in my life
00:00 i'm done with that game

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Quote #8802

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 03:04:09 -0500

rpn.me is expiring. Any reason I should want to keep it? Anybody else want it? :)
hmm.
how much is it to renew?
.me at namecheap is US$20/year
hrm.
when's it expiring?
3 days
i might pick it up, though i shouldn't.
I registered it for an rpn calclulator project, but then hp15c.com became way more appropriate :)
OH GOD
i know what i want to do.
reverse polish notation erotica.
...
rpn.me/harder
heh
harder it do girl dirty me tell and
oh man, i even have the slogan: our girls are STACKED

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Quote #8801

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:04:06 -0500

<~relsqui> ugh I wish I could do more long-term testing to balance the cookie-production numbers and the like

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Quote #8800

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:04:06 -0500

And we all know what happens when someone starts a zombie gerbil apocalypse
It's happened 3 times in the past year, I still haven't cleaned up from last time
I'm very close to a breakthrough on making zombie gerbil meat edible.
Then we can hunt *them*.

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Quote #8798

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 23:04:03 -0500

<@aliaras> oh fuck I printed something like, weeks ago and didn't pick it up
<@Shrdlu> It's too late now, your printout has gone feral.
<@Shrdlu> If you don't socialize them with people in the first couple of days, they never really get accustomed to human interaction.
<@khmer> you gotta trap them between ionized rollers

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Quote #8797

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 23:04:03 -0500

<@snark> there is mayonnaise in our fridge that has an expiry date in 2010
< Shrdlu> Hang onto it, it'll be valuable one day
< Shrdlu> When our civilization ends and a new one rises in its place, and eventually creates some form of calendar, there will again be a 2010.
<@snark> that new civilization will evolve from the contents of this jar

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Quote #8795

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 06:04:11 -0500

why do they have a visitor pass AND a staff pass?
<@Stereo> rena: one's a parking pass, year long
Rena: staff ID, but visitor center parking.
Rena: you could probably have a staff ID and, say, nursery parking, or dock parking
and Jurassic Parking

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Quote #8793

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:04:03 -0500

<@snark> billygoat: stopword cake
<@billygoat> Okay, next person to say 'cake' gets kickbanned.
<@snark> billygoat: stopword lie
<@billygoat> Okay, next person to say 'lie' gets kickbanned.
<@snark> now that that's out of the way, discuss: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_enrichment

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Quote #8792

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:04:03 -0500

< XMPPwocky> Oh oh guys
< XMPPwocky> so did you hear about the school dance
< XMPPwocky> that got hit by lightning
< Walther> XMPPwocky: ...they all got charged?
< XMPPwocky> no
< XMPPwocky> the building was totally obliterated
< XMPPwocky> thank goodness nobody got hurt, somehow
< XMPPwocky> but they obviously had to call it off
< XMPPwocky> it was an electrically erasable prom.

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Quote #8791

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:04:03 -0500

When in doubt, wear it as a hat.
but what if it isn't a hat?
Axalto: wear it as a hat anyway?
once you wear it as a hat, it's a hat.
If you know quite clearly that it isn't a hat, then you are not in doubt, are you?

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Quote #8790

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:04:03 -0500

I wonder if it's possible to absorb alcohol through the skin?

Quote #8788

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:04:04 -0500

* Parataxia ruins recaptcha
<@Parataxia> because i only solve the one it already knows
<@snark> the other one it compares your answer to other people's answers and discards the ones that don't match
<@Parataxia> yes, which is why leaving it totally blank sort of ruins the point
<@snark> well, you neither contribute nor ruin
<@snark> your non-contribution isn't significant enough to bother them
<@Parataxia> but if everyone else does too, it ruins it
<@Parataxia> so what i'm saying is..
<@Parataxia> will.. will you help me ruin recaptcha?
<@snark> you're like some kind of kantian terrorist

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Quote #8787

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:04:04 -0500

< snark> "if everyone did nothing like me, society would fall apart. Fuck the man!"
< snark> the most logical form of slacktivism

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Quote #8786

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 07:04:07 -0500

< Mithkabob> greetings and salutations.
< sharkee> jubilations and cheerios to you
< Eule> gray things and salutatorians!
< paratus> beatings and salivations!
< sharkee> bearings and operations!
< sharkee> hearings and applications!
< sharkee> harrings and crustaecians!
< Eule> flarings and convolutions!
< Eule> earrings and defenestrations!
< sharkee> twitchings and convulsions!
< Eule> flinchings and prevarications!
< Mithkabob> functions and derivations!
< Rena> fruits and vegetations!
< sharkee> hopes and expectations!
< sharkee> black holes and revelations!
< Mithkabob> rhyming and conversations!
< Eule> ropes and penetrations!
< sharkee> dopes and medications!
< Eule> Snopes and fabrications!
< Eule> Laughs and jubilations!
<@Stereo> boudoirs and condemnaaaaations!
< Eule> au revoirs and ululations!
< sharkee> couloirs and abarticulations!
<@Stereo> qatar and afghan nations!
< Eule> nets and reticulations!

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Quote #8783

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 06:04:00 -0500

<@relsqui> I wrote a little script which is enthusiastic about things.
<@Randall> that is the most relsqui programming project I've ever heard of.

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Quote #8780

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 03:04:04 -0500

in Shakespeare, 'wit' is a pun for a penis
That makes the Ravenclaw thingy sound so much dirtier
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"

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Quote #8779

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 00:04:04 -0500

< Random832> what does IMC stand for
< Headspace> instrument meteorological conditions.
< rosonowski> Which is a fancy way of saying "Can't see shit"
< Headspace> Imagine if you were flying, but you were also Ray Charles.

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Quote #8778